Whether you spent just a few months carefully crafting your dream wedding or you dedicated more than half a year to simply finding the perfect venue, the planning process can be an all-consuming, demanding, and–at times–even maddening exercise. But once the day has come and gone…what next?
Everyone in attendance will agree that it was, by far, one of the best weddings they’ve ever been to–a perfect representation of the both of you equally and a testament to the beautiful love story that brought you two together. Everything went off without a serious hitch–save for when grandma accidentally flashed the photographer, and half of the attending reception–your betrothed’s personalized vows were more beautiful than you could have ever imagined, and you’re so excited to be married. So why are you feeling a little blue post-wedding?
There may be several reasons you’re feeling down. Maybe you found yourself poring over every wedding article, photo, website, and magazine you could get your hands on and virtually ate, drank, and slept all things wedding throughout the entire planning process. Or perhaps you had a planner who took care of all of the details for you, leaving the approving–or not–of their ideas up to you. Whatever your level of involvement, you’ve likely spent a significant amount of time and effort focused almost single-mindedly on this one event.
Now that you no longer have to view every swatch of material and contemplate how well it might fit into your current linen lineup or spend evenings and weekends assembling favors for 172 guests, you may find a bit of a void where all of the emotions attached to creating the perfect wedding once lived. Wedding planning is a time of excitement, energy, and intensity, and once it’s over, the void left by those emotions may be more palpable than you had anticipated.
While it may seem obvious, you’re likely to feel the repercussions of this void not only in your emotional life, but in your schedule as well–especially if your celebration was DIY-heavy. It can be difficult to rebound from having a schedule virtually jam-packed with wedding to-do items one day and going back to “real life” the next. The adjustment alone can be jarring.
While your sweetie might be ready to snuggle up on the couch and catch up on your now-out-of-control DVR queue, you may be unable to relax and fully enjoy “couple time,” constantly feeling like there just has to be something you should be making, doing, or scheduling.
If you’ve spent your entire life dreaming of just the perfect wedding, the completion of the actual celebration itself may be what’s eating at you the most. No matter how perfect, how joyous, or how wonderful that celebration, the act of marriage symbolizes the closure of an entire period of your life–the anticipation and high expectations you’ve had surrounding this very exciting time. While it marks a new and exciting chapter for you and your new spouse, it also represents the “end of an era” and you may find yourself in a sort of mourning period at its ending.
So what can you do to pull yourself out of a post-wedding slump? One of the first things you’ll want to do is talk with your partner. Who knows? He or she may be feeling exactly the same way and sharing can only serve to bring the two of you closer together. If not, simply the act of talking it out–especially with an open and supportive partner–may be all you’ll need to lift your mood. And remember, you’re with your spouse for a reason. He or she may have some suggestions on how to help or may even be able to change your mind about it altogether by offering you a new and different perspective.
It’s also important to try to carve out a little downtime for yourselves as a couple. While it may have flown by–or at least seemed like it did–the passage of your wedding day marks a very important transition in your lives. In the course of that day, and realistically, the course of just a couple of seconds, your lives have been joined–forever entwined in one another’s futures.
Attempting to transition from the pressures of planning to the excitement of the day, through the adventures of your honeymoon and back to work without pause is enough to make anyone’s head spin. If possible, spend a day or two post-wedding relishing in the newness of marriage and enjoying time with friends and family–especially those in town temporarily for the celebration–as well as giving yourself some time post-honeymoon to settle back into everyday life gradually.
If you’re missing the excitement and the busy schedule of the actual planning process itself, get busy putting together smaller events–from elaborate date nights to dinner parties. Just because the wedding’s over doesn’t mean you have to hang up your planning hat for good. Not only can you keep yourself busy by doing something you enjoy, but this can be the perfect opportunity to give yourself new experiences to look forward to as well.
Equally as dispiriting as the missing hustle and bustle may be the lack of an impending special event. The anticipation of an upcoming vacation or celebration can be just as exciting as the event itself; so if you find you need something fun to look forward to, put those planning skills to the test by coordinating something complex and exciting like an out-of-country trip. Or consider using that newly found–and possibly expansive–hole in your schedule to take up something completely new like cheesemaking or Capoeira, or even–who knows–event planning.
Most importantly, keep in mind the most essential component of your big day: the joining of you and your spouse in marriage. While the past–including all of the fun you may have had planning the wedding, all of the excitement and anticipation surrounding the day, and, of course, the day itself–may have been a blast, you’re sure to have even more adventures in the days, months, and years to come. So sit back with a glass of wine, re-watch your wedding video, tuck your vows away in your memory box, and prepare yourself for the excitement ahead.
Lisa is a special needs teacher and a hugger. She always makes time for everyone and lightens up everybody’s lives with her presence. When she is not chasing her students around the yard, she finds time to write about what she truly loves, and you guessed it, its people and relationships.