When you saw the dress in the mirror, you knew it was “the one.” You were enchanted with the layers of lace and tulle that made you look like a fairy tale princess. It’s only now that you’ve quaffed a few cocktails at the reception that you’re starting to wonder if you made a terrible mistake. Fear not, though; going to the bathroom in any wedding dress is simple if you learn a few techniques.
Get By with a Little Help from Your Friends
This technique is the age-old standard. Grab a few of your best girlfriends for a quick bathroom run. After all, if you can’t trust your maid of honor to get you through your embarrassing moments, who can you trust? Place a no-exceptions ban on cameras and get your friends to grab a few fistfuls of dress. Remember to keep your sense of humor–there’s nothing sillier than an impromptu bathroom party!
The only problem with this approach is when you really do want a bit of privacy. Which brings us to:
The hardest part of getting your dress out of harm’s way is managing to bunch all the fabric, crinoline underskirts, and long, pristine train by yourself with your hands behind your back. However, with a little “forward thinking,” you can manage even the poofiest dress by yourself.
Simply pick up the front of your dress, and step out of your underwear with one leg. Holding your dress and underthings out of the way, walk forward while facing the wall. You can then sit down, albeit backward, without any “bathroom helpers” necessary. Practice a few times at home first.
Be absolutely certain that your venue keeps their bathroom floors clean, since the bottom of your dress will be touching it. If you don’t want any of the material touching the floor, it’s time to call in a good friend for help. She won’t be able to see much from behind you, though, so you’ll still be able to enjoy some “pee-ce” and quiet.
The Ladies’ Funnel
You’ll want to practice this technique a few times before the big day to make sure you’re comfortable with the process, but once you master it, there’s no going back. Gone are the days when ladies would sit around being jealous of gentlemen who could do their business standing up. (Perhaps you weren’t ever jealous, but now you don’t ever have to be.) You can find actual, certified “pee funnels” from a variety of reputable manufacturers. They’re most commonly sold as camping supplies, but the same apparatus that helps ladies avoid poison oak and critters in the woods can be just as convenient for brides.
Funnels come in a variety of sizes, materials, and even colors–if you’re concerned about matching your wedding theme, that is. They all have a wide base at one end and a narrow chute at the other. Hold the base near your body and point the chute at the toilet. Voila! You don’t even have to sit down. Some funnels even come with a long tube so you can be absolutely certain everything is pointing in the right direction before you begin.
Be warned: once you fall in love with the convenience of a funnel, you’ll want to take it with you to clubs, concerts, festivals, and anywhere else you’re concerned about bathroom cleanliness.
When you’re doing venue walkthroughs, don’t just pay attention to the entrance and dance floor. Visit the bathroom and notice if there is enough room to turn around fully in a wedding dress. (You may want to use the handicapped stall.) Also, take note of the cleanliness of the floor and the area around the toilet. If there are any surfaces you wouldn’t want the hem of your dress touching, it’s time to have a talk with the venue management or look for another wedding location.
On your wedding day, you’ve got enough on your mind. Don’t let bathroom troubles add stress to your day. Show up armed with the proper techniques and your whole day should be a breeze. You’ve said, “Yes” to the dress… now say, “No” to the mess!
Lisa is a special needs teacher and a hugger. She always makes time for everyone and lightens up everybody’s lives with her presence. When she is not chasing her students around the yard, she finds time to write about what she truly loves, and you guessed it, its people and relationships.