The Ultimate Dos and Donts for the Best Man Toast

The Ultimate Do’s and Don’ts for the Best Man Toast

Everyone knows tons of horror stories about best men who relate best man speech jokes and in the process completely humiliate themselves.  While there are times in life that you can make a jerk of yourself and everyone laughs along with you, a formal wedding is not one of those times.  Following are some stories and anecdotes about what you should and should never do when performing the honorable duties of a best man.

Things to Never Do as a Best Man

The following story tells of a best man that wanted to play an evil prank worse than just telling off color best man speech jokes.  There is a show that featured a best man who did not like the new wife.  He had the bartender place a laxative in the bride’s drink and took it to her.  

Unbeknownst to him, the bartender thought that was a very mean thing to do so the bartender put it in the best man’s drink instead.  Once the laxative kicked in, he had to go to the bathroom immediately and could only find a garbage can.  He then proceeded to get his derriere stuck in the garbage can and knocked it over trying to free himself.  He actually then rolled down a hill and died from a broken neck.  This is NOT the best man you want to be.

Another thing you should never ever do as a best man is to recount your wedding toast jokes while highly intoxicated.  We all know of tons of movies and even true stories where funny best man speeches were not only not funny but downright inappropriate.  Usually this happens because the best man decided to throw down way too many drinks before it was his turn to speak.

Almost all best men do want to throw a few best man speech one liners into their toast to the new bride and groom, but remember to be very careful.  Being completely intoxicated will make it very difficult for you to tell the difference in a joke that is a little risky but works and best man speech jokes that will ruin the class and honor of the wedding celebration and might even lose you a friend.

Things to Be Sure to Do for Your Best Man Speech Jokes

The best jokes a best man can tell during his speech are ones that are based on true events.  Obviously there are true events you shouldn’t include and will only make people feel awkward, but there are plenty funny stories you can come up with about the newlyweds that will make everyone happy not only because they are comical but also because they are from the heart.

While a funny best man toast is almost always a hit when the contents and delivery are well thought out, not all of them have to be a comedy routine.  Even if your style is to be funny, also be sure to add some sentimentality and touching topics as well.  This will ensure your best man speech jokes are not the only part of your speech that will be remembered for years.


Lisa is a special needs teacher and a hugger. She always makes time for everyone and lightens up everybody’s lives with her presence. When she is not chasing her students around the yard, she finds time to write about what she truly loves, and you guessed it, its people and relationships.