There are so many things that can cause stress when you’re planning your wedding. In the midst of trying to throw an event that accurately represents you and your groom and makes a good impression, it’s normal to get a little on edge.
How do you draw the line, though, between pre-wedding stress and full-blown (gulp) Bridezilla status? The thing about Bridezilla-esque behavior is that it isn’t always attributed to just the wedding day itself, but is often when it’s at its peak—for instance, suppose your hair stylist, who nailed your ‘do the day before, is struggling to curl your hair on the big day, splaying it out into spidery ends as you struggle not to panic that your photographer is on the way.
It’s also just as likely to rear its ugly head in the seemingly minute details of your wedding planning—like when you’ve already decided which of the two napkin holders you’d like for your place settings, but thirty minutes later and your mom is still trying to convince you that you’re making a tragic mistake.
If you’re a bit concerned your penchant for perfection has escalated into overwhelming proportions, read on to find out if your behavior is cause for concern, and how you can reign yourself in … if that’s really what you want.
After all, if the source of your stress is a relative or friend impressing upon you all of her ideas for your big day, such situations may require you to put your foot down, and, if necessary, exercise some Bridezilla tactics.
It may help to remember that just because you’re a take-charge bride who knows what she wants, you needn’t feel like others will brand you with the dreaded label. Don’t feel like you have to kowtow around what you want simply to avoid being seen as a Bridezilla.
Those who know and love you will certainly give you some leeway during this bustling and oh-so-important time in your life.
How to Know if You’ve Reached Bridezilla Status: Taking Stock of Relationships, Conversations, and Thoughts
So how do you know if you’ve become the dreaded Bridezilla you’ve heard about from friends and seen portrayed in movies? Evaluating three key areas may help, including the state of your relationships, and what fills your conversations and thoughts.
Consider taking a few moments to:
Take stock of relationships – Are your friendships just as strong now as they were months ago when you first got engaged, or do you notice your friends’ phones going straight to voicemail more than usual? What nonverbal cues are you picking up from them? Consider what may have led to any negative vibes. Friendships have a tendency to get a bit strained when it’s perceived that the bride is asking too much, or if suddenly all interactions are purely wedding related. Also, think back to how much time you’ve been spending with your fiancé since getting engaged. If every date night is suddenly filled with trips to the florist or hotel for a tasting, you may want to reprioritize your time; he still needs—and wants—your attention!
Inventory what’s filling your conversations – When friends ask you how your wedding planning is going, it may help to take a moment to ask yourself how many people you’ve talked to that day about your wedding. If wedding speak is dominating your conversations with coworkers, friends, and family, you may want to try scaling it back a bit and catching up with what’s going on with them.
Consider what’s keeping you up at night – There’s no doubt about it, weddings are a pricey venture; this can be compounded if you’re one of many brides financially contributing to your big day. If your precious beauty sleep is being interrupted by dollar signs dancing across the ceiling when you think about adding an open bar, you may want to rethink some of your choices.
Blatantly and unapologetically busting your budget for non-essentials can be an indication of Bridezilla behavior and can be a surefire stress-maker.
How to Reign Your Bridezilla In: Prioritizing, Delegating, and Achieving the Right Mindset
Once you’ve given it some thought, certain aspects of your wedding planning behavior may come into sharper focus. It’s easy to pinpoint where you can make some simple changes to get things back on their blissful track to the altar!
When planning your wedding, prioritizing and delegating are two simple ways to nip Bridezilla behavior in the bud. Prioritizing some of the key elements you really want for your wedding can keep you from jumping at every added “extra” for your day. Plus, when you politely delegate some of the responsibilities to others, it helps keep you from becoming overwhelmed with the details.
Preventing Bridezilla behavior the day of your wedding is all about your mindset. When the big day rolls around, all of your responsibilities will be done—with vendors in place, your string quartet at the ready, and the flowers arranged for delivery—your only role should be to sit back, feel beautiful, and enjoy the day.
When a detail of your big day goes a bit awry—as something inevitably may—it doesn’t matter whether the DJ forgot your name, or whether the power went out at the bakery set to delivery two hundred cupcakes, you can avoid Bridezilla behavior by rolling with the punches, and remembering that this is the first day of you and your husband’s lives together as a married couple. Shake it off, smile, and enjoy the day!
Lisa is a special needs teacher and a hugger. She always makes time for everyone and lightens up everybody’s lives with her presence. When she is not chasing her students around the yard, she finds time to write about what she truly loves, and you guessed it, its people and relationships.