Planning a wedding can be a stressful time. With tensions at an all-time high, nerves are more easily frazzled, feet are more easily stepped on, and feelings more easily hurt. There are countless reasons why you might start to feel a disconnect developing between the two of you, but it’s how you deal with it that can really help strengthen your relationship.
While it’s important to find an effective resolution, it’s equally imperative that you address issues quickly. The longer you live with unexpressed feelings, the harder they are to get out and the easier it is for resentment to build. Before you know it, that resentment becomes your emotional go-to at every perceived insult.
The importance of thorough communication cannot be understated. Your partner may not even be aware of the ill-effects that a brief moment or single interaction may be having on you, especially long after that moment has passed, so it’s best to confront and discuss issues as soon as they happen.
Below, find a few of the things that can pull couples apart during the planning process and how you can get back on track.
Your Love Life Seems to Be Fading
If you’re finding that your passion for one another is starting to take a backseat to wedding talk and planning-ese, consider taking some time to make romance a priority once again. It can be so easy to single-mindedly focus on the goal that you forget about the importance of the journey.
The planning process shouldn’t be a time you two “survived,” it should be a time that you bonded, reflected, and worked together as a team to create something beautiful. So push your planning to-do list aside and work on your sweet nothings because it’s time to schedule some much-needed bonding time.
You’re Not Sticking to Your Mutual Goals
Maybe you vowed that you wouldn’t let planning a wedding become a cause of contestation between you two, or maybe one (or both) of you isn’t sticking to the strict budget you had agreed upon when you first started planning. Whatever the dispute, it can be disappointing to find that promises are being broken during a time when open and honest communication and equal collaboration are so very important.
If you’re feeling as though it may be time to remind your partner of a few key items on the “I/We Will Never …” list you two crafted before the planning process began, it’s definitely a good time to slow things down.
Find out why he or she is deviating from the plan. It may be that your partner doesn’t even realize there’s a problem, and a little motivation from you may be all that’s needed to get your peaceful planning back on track. If not, however, simply talking it through will let you in on what’s really going on and what you might be able to do to fix it.
One or Both Families Are Becoming a Cause of Contention
Perhaps you’ve found that your mother’s once sweet and innocent suggestions have started sounding more and more like forceful demands or that your betrothed’s family’s bickering has forced a total of three seating chart revisions in the past few days alone.
With the extensive, intimate, and intricate histories that intertwine our familial relationships, it can sometimes be stressful to navigate any snags that may arise. During the wedding planning process–when there are two families to consult and incorporate–that stress can be doubly difficult.
Family issues can easily become a source of contention between the two of you. Intuitively, you may want to stand by your family unquestionably–especially if you feel that it’s your spouse-to-be who may be in the wrong–but it’s important to find a compromise that makes both parties happy or you may find yourself choosing one over the other on your big day.
Resolving issues will depend heavily on how comfortable you feel with one another’s family. While it can be tempting to have each partner handle his or her own side, you have to remember that this family will soon be yours as well. Consider standing together as a couple and speaking with the offending party together.
Make sure to address issues fairly, open-mindedly, and respectfully. Not only will this help strengthen you and your betrothed’s bond, but it will help you establish your place in your new family as a strong but warm individual.
Whether you’re at odds over just the perfect hint of mustard yellow to incorporate into your wedding’s color scheme or you don’t want to have to explain to your beloved’s family (again) why you aren’t having a Celtic-themed wedding, the wedding planning process can be a bumpy road.
Lisa is a special needs teacher and a hugger. She always makes time for everyone and lightens up everybody’s lives with her presence. When she is not chasing her students around the yard, she finds time to write about what she truly loves, and you guessed it, its people and relationships.